me: rocket you should’ve seen alder dancing at the nightclub we went to a few weeks ago
they got onstage
it was majestic
*_*
rocket: This level of overwhelming talent on every level is extremely offensive.
me: and they play an instrument too
rocket: I think we’re in agreement that we’re gonna need Alder to staaaahhhhp.
me: how is that allowed?
IT IS NOT
IS THE ANSWER
IT IS NOT ALLOWED
oh excuse me hi i can install electrical things on your roof and also sing/dance right off the roof and into your fucking heart
while playing a trombone and casting a spell
and also did i mention that i wrote you gay fanfiction? while i was doing all that?
because i did
me: p.s. sorry that i cut you with my amazing jawline and cheekbones, my bad
rocket: that was a great impression of alder, good job
me: ahaha we all have our talents, clearly
WAIT I AM NOT EVEN DONE
THERE IS MORE
ARE YOU SAD?
ARE YOU HAVING SOME OVERWHELMING FEELINGS?
rocket: ahaha
me: HOLD UP I’M GONNA CREATE A FUCKING IMMERSIVE CHOOSE YR OWN ADVENTURE STORY
TAILORED TO YOUR NEEDS AND LIFE
AND CALM THE SHIT OUT OF YOU
ARE YOU HUNGRY?
I AM GONNA MAKE YOU SOME BOMB-ASS VEGAN TREATS
FEED YOU ALL NIGHT LONG
rocket: 🔥
What are we supposed to do, femme?
me: Die
I don’t even know
flail
is my usual?
i think?
scream into the void?
rocket: Personally I spend most of my time flailing about how rad they are.
Like probably 73% of my time.
me: yeah those numbers sound accurate
i could probably make a graph
wait no
i actually
did
make a graph