the woman who dated 40+ guys, got them to buy her iphones, and then sold them to buy a house
the woman who traded one singular rick and morty sauce for a car
don’t forget the woman who charged a bunch of dudes money to attend an orgy but never promised any women would be there so they all just showed up to find nothing but men
The girl on Tinder whose profile said “send me $5 and see what happens” and after they sent her money she blocked them
the girl who pretended to be a republican and got old white conservatives to fund her tuition
So I had a job interview today and there was a dude in the waiting room who was chatting up every AFAB person in the waiting room whether they responded or not, and kept going “Hey I’m real good at Origami Swans you want one?” and then writing his number on sticky notes before making paper cranes and handing them to his latest target before turning his attention to the next lady in his vicinity. A little sad, a lot annoying, but unlikely to be dangerous. Whatever.
Dude gets to me. We have half a conversation where he asks me personal questions and I don’t look up from my phone. I get my “Swan”. I’m the last AFAB person in the room so he’s kinda sitting there.
I get to a post about a friend needing moral and/or spiritual support before a medical procedeure, so my ADHD ass goes Oh hey, we have an animal effigy we could sacrifice to the relevant gods! So I take out my lighter and burn the swan roughly 23 seconds after the dude gave it to me, and crush the ashes in my hand because I belatedly realize there’s no sink for me to throw this in. Oh well. Purell the ashes off.
I look up. Dude, and everyone else in the waiting room is staring at me.
“You, uh. Smoke?” Dude tries.
What I Meant To Say: “No I just carry a lighter as a holdover from survival camp as a kid, and if I’m wearing synthetic fabrics that start to ravel, I can use the flame to melt them a bit so they stop.”
What I Actually Said: “No I just have one in case I need to set something on fire.”
I put the lighter away. The hiring manager comes out and calls my name. I go back and have what I think was a reasonably sucessful job interview. I come back out.
Do you think the star wars universe has like.. a trigger discipline equivalent for the lightsaber. like people on the internet will see a picture of a beginner jedi holding the sword and they’ll go “LOL wrist not set at 30° perpendicular to the right hip bone. have fun losing your hand you idiot”
alder-knight 