deseos-desires:

msdarker:

Yes. 

We are femmes, we are gentlemen, we are dandy’s, we are butches, we are gay, and I bet there are more identities that don’t fall from my head now that our guests use. Some people are questioning and some are straight too. Everyone is welcome. The room at Tableaux is heavy with queers – bi, pansexual, heteroflexible individuals fill at least half the space – but the aesthetic that dominates tends to be feminine and gentlemanly. And, while we also have our share of gender nonconforming friends – the vibe is not aggressively gay or focused on genderfuckery. 

The queer women who run Tableaux – @elshalarossa and I, with the help of @piper-doll tend to attract a mixed crowd that likes to parade femme and dapper aesthetics. There are definitely more politically queer forward spaces – places that cater to a more “out” aesthetic – but that would be appropriative of us to curate.

The concept of femme invisibility comes to the forefront -and I’ve noticed that my queer male friends go through this too.  Assumptions are made about our orientation partially because we socialize around identities – kinky, creative,- that are not solely focused on our gender and orientation. 

What’s super about this space, for us, is that we don’t feel invisible to each other…that’s a start. But I can also be more open about that here on tumblr so others can understand what they maybe can’t see upon first glance.

If you aren’t straight, and go to Tableaux – please reblog! 

xo

Ms. Darker

Part of what we’re seeing in this discussion is the intersection of not just gender, age, and sexuality, but also race, class, and politics, y’all.

So from what I’ve seen, heard, and experienced, these events and their associated events/groups (TDG Presents, The Dirty Boys, etc.) attract a predominantly White, cisgender crowd that has a fair amount of LBQ & flexible/questioning/curious people whose sexual/gender presentations & play tend to skew more into binary gender presentations, the “garters and ties and pearls and black lingerie” outfitting, seemingly low political territory, and play that centers protocol, anglo-vintage aesthetics, sensuality, power, and some impact (not saying that any of these things are necessarily bad, mind you, just pointing out the landscape). There are also these elements of lush fanciness that I have a bit of a hard time articulating, but relate to art, race, and class as well.

Will you find someone shrieking with laughter as they give a blowjob to a rainbow-colored strap-on, or someone getting peed on in a bathtub while wearing bunny ears, or two switches fighting it out on the ground and spitting on each other while they smear glitter lip gloss everywhere, or someone decked out in full pet-play regalia, or a hairy fairy-winged human passing out safer sex supplies? Will you find witch4witch, POC4POC, trans4trans badassery? Probs not. And maybe you, gentle reader, don’t want to! And maybe you do! And maybe you want both and would feel happy as a clam in either space! ¯_(ツ)_/¯ 

So it’s shitty to have the sexualities present be invisible, certainly, but I think it’s also worth looking at the nuance here and the reality that being same-sex oriented in any way doesn’t inherently mean someone will be politically progressive, transgressive, or anything of that sort. (Which is the rub, right? Because the word queer has now become an umbrella for LGB/T/Q in ways that often strip it of historical political power and there is a Thing in the LGBTQ movement/s right now where homonormativity is really common and, frankly, destructive especially on a large scale).

I’m uninterested in playing the “are you queer enough to be a real queer/member of the LGBTQ community/etc.?” game (especially because it disproportionately fucks over POC, femmes, and so on) BUT I think it’s important to have the conversation about these intersections, homonormativity, and how they can include/exclude people from events, and to be up front about what’s going on and the decision-making behind it. ❤ Our desires and spaces don’t operate or come from a vacuum.

On a linguistic note, one thing I want to note is the phrase “everyone is welcome” — not because this space is the only one that uses it, but because I see it used a lot (and have done it my fair share of times as well) and while certainly anyone can show up to events like this, the spaces aren’t actually welcoming to all. Inviting people, welcoming them, and allowing them to be there are actually three separate things. That’s why many predominantly White spaces that say “they’re welcome to all” actually mean “you can totally show up but we aren’t actually doing anything to welcome you and/or be inviting.”