it’s 2028, your bi polycule comes up out of the sex basement and towels off as you’re unplugging the crockpot full of psychedelic mushroom and lentil stew, your comrades have turned the dining room table into a war room table with battle plans to blow up server farms hosting social media platforms and their horrible content, the kids are masking up to attack the cisheteropatriachal capitalist family next door, it’s super bowl sunday and you’re locked and loaded watching some asshole smack his wife’s ass unannounced over the fence and your kids are pouring over the fence in their blindspot like ninjas

Melissa is from Colombia and speaks fluent Spanish. Since we began dating, I’ve been trying to slowly learn the language. At dinner, we always play this game where I say something to her in Spanish to see if she understands, and she repeats it to me in English. At the beginning of our meal on July 28, 2013, I asked her in Spanish if she liked the food. She responded with, ‘Do you like the food?’ This continued sporadically throughout our meal, and I made sure to ask her strange questions to keep her laughing and not suspecting my final question. When the meal was almost over, I asked, ‘Quieres casarte conmingo?’ She laughed and said, ‘Will you marry me?’ I smiled, and repeated myself. She dropped her fork and looked at me. I presented her with the ring and she accepted through tears.

defectivevorta:

defectivevorta:

“average person behaves injuriously towards me ten times a year” factoid actually just statistical error. Fortunato, whose thousand injuries I had borne as I best could, is an outlier adn no I don’t know where he is stop asking

This post is two and a half years old, but I’m glad you’re all enjoying it so much. I do have some more finely aged memes, if someone will only help me carry them up…